Monday, July 25, 2016
Get Wise On Your Whys.
Are you actually READY to do this? Have you reached your WHY? Are you truly ready to commit to you: your body, your mind, your spirit? Is your YES big?
Why, what and how are fabulous questions to ask yourself. And then, keep asking over and over.
So? Let me ask...
What exactly is it you want to accomplish when you think about your body weight? Why do you want to join a gym? Work with a personal trainer? Eat better?
A: I want to lose 35 pounds.
Q: Okay great, why?
A: Because I feel fat.
Q: Alright, I get that. Tell me how having 35 extra pounds on your body makes you feel.
A: Tired. Ugly. Uncomfortable. Embarrassed. Un-sexy. Frumpy. Self-Conscious.
Q: Why does it make you feel those things?
A: I try and hide how I feel, but I get mad at myself all the time when I fail at eating better and getting to the gym. I don't like giving up, lying to myself, or running my life on excuses, and when it keeps happening over and over again, it just makes it worse.
Q: Are you willing to try something different in order to have what you want? Are you hiding out in your comfort zone?
A: Well, I just feel bad all the time, even when I'm trying to be happy and keep it all together. It's still on me, all this body weight. I shave my legs and I feel it, I put lotion on and I feel it, my clothes get tighter and tighter throughout the day and it reminds me. So I come home and I am exhausted mentally and spiritually - I give in, give up and don't do anything. I yell at my family, myself. This isn't making me happy or anyone else around me, so yes, I believe I am truly ready to learn some new habits and create what I want. Ultimately, I think I would feel more proud of myself, accomplished, my self-esteem and confidence would be stronger if I got up and did something about it.
Q: What are you doing that isn't working?
A: Well, I try and go for a run, but it hurts and nothing really changes. I feel intimidated at the gym I joined and don't really know what to do there, so I give up and don't go, or I just leave after a bit, but I still pay them every month. This again, makes me feel bad, like a failure.
Q: If what you are doing right now isn't working, what do you think you need to do?
A: Well, honestly, I don't know what I'm doing in the gym. I see people in the weight area and have no idea how to do those things. I think I need that for myself. I think learning how to do that will benefit me reaching my goals. I also try and eat healthy, but I am not really sure what that means any more. It's all so confusing. I am tired of trying, literally sick and tired, of trying and failing in this. I want to get off the roller coaster. I want to smile and really mean it! I want to be healthy and fit! I want to be vibrant and feel terrific in my clothes! I know that getting honest, getting active and learning what it actually takes is what I need to do.
A: You sound ready! Tell me again, why do you want to lose 35 pounds?
Q: It isn't actually about the weight, it's about the deeper stuff. My confidence, my heart, my mind, my spirit. It's how I think of myself, which in turns how I act out in the world, to my family, my friends. My health, my mind, body and spirit matter and I desire to feel vibrant and proud of me again. I realize it is not selfish to put my health at the top of the priority list. I am ready, willing and able, to learn the habits and create my health to live a long, healthy, proactive life! I am getting out of my own way and I'm saying yes to me.
Wow, you can almost feel the realization and renewed determination!
Most people stop at the first why. You have to dig deeper. If you can't get honest with yourself, then you'll continue to walk the earth not feeling so great and it'll show up in your life in some way.
I really dig (pun intended) journaling my thoughts. Stuff just flows out of your stream of consciousness when you put pen to paper. When I write, every little thought whether shameful, petty, hopeful, honest, even my lies I tell myself might come out on the page. These are realizations of perceptions and beliefs that don't hold water any more in my life. They are not me and are not my truth of who I am in my now. I learn my truth, my worth and my determination gets stronger when I journal.
This is what happens when you ask yourself the same questions again and again... it makes you dig deeper.
Perhaps you ultimately want health because you saw someone you love and admired die from ill health and not taking care of themselves. That is a deep truth.
Let's say you want a boat really bad. I ask you why and as we progress through your whys it comes out that the REAL reason you want a boat isn't just because it's fun. The real reason that comes out is that you have beautiful memories of you and your father (or other family member) fishing, relaxing, bonding and this is what you deeply desire for you and your family as well. That is a deep truth. See what I mean?
If you don't know your WHY, how can you possibly stay committed to your decision once it's made?
When you make a commitment or promise to yourself (or anyone) keep it. This is what creates integrity, trust, values. When you see it in yourself, you can see it all around you. Do you first, then put the oxygen mask on those around you. Get it? Commit to you first. It's your body, your house, your mind, mental health, your gift. Take care of it.
Here's the thing... it can get monotonous this working out thing, this eating healthy thing. Sometimes it's hard in the beginning. This is when you need to REMEMBER YOUR WHY! I love listening to uplifting videos, reading books about overcoming our triggers and fears, and really getting honest with myself about my life. Hanging around with and talking with other positive, health conscious people certainly helps. Personal development is not for the faint of heart. It takes a bit of courage and I am definitely drawn to those types of people on this earth!
It's like when you listen to someone really open up and share their story and you think "Oh! Thank GOD I am not the only one who feels that way!" On a deep level we feel less judged and therefore, we trust that person and feel safer around them because they have shown their flaws to us. It's simply human behavior. It's called authenticity.
Darren Hardy is a favorite motivational guru of mine. I just heard this this morning and thought I'd share it. Life be a grind, but you still have to do the laundry, so why complain about it.
You have got to stick it out through the grind. LISTEN HERE!
I see your gorgeous brightly glowing light inside you. Are you ready to dig deeper? Shine brighter? Learn more?
I'd love to help you in your journey as I have helped so many others. Simply reach out if you're ready to. Getting wise to your whys is a good way to start!
Hugs and blue skies,
Full-Body Fitness, LLC