Saturday, February 14, 2015

Now, THAT's Amore`!

You've heard it before.  Self-love is the first love you have to love in order to love the one you want to love. What?

Yea, well. It's about as complicated as all that in real time as well.

Are you a pleaser? Do you say "yes" to everyone and everything because you are wanting to be liked, included, l.o.v.e.d.?  Well, then this is for you honey.

Are you frazzled, irritated, frowning, busy - like, All.The.Time? Are you overwhelmed, short fused and grumpy? If you are saying "Yes! Gosh darn it!" then keep reading sugar.

Stop doing that. Psssst... let me share a little (okay, BIG) secret.  It is OK to take care of yourself FIRST. In fact, it is essential to a happy heart, mind, spirit, soul and any connections you form on this earth. Seriously think about it, if in fact, you are that person who can't seem to say no. I don't know about you, but when I am spread too thin and not taking time for me, well, let's just say -- "momma NOT happy!"

How is your breathing? Go ahead and stop right here and take a deep breath from the belly and let it out real slow like - ahhhhhhhhh! Relax your WHOLE BODY when you do this. Do it three times. Did your shoulders drop a couple of inches from just plain old relaxing for a minute?

Everybody knows, if you do not take care of yourself first, you won't be much help to anyone else. (It's why they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first on planes...sorry for that visual!) Whether it's cleaning and clearing up your heart space, your head space, your TIME, your priorities, get yourself at the top of the list. Who is in your TOP 3? Do you know the sequence of a happy life?  I'll share with you what I've found to work. 

On this "L.O.V.E." day, which I think is nuts that it's only ONE DAY that we really try to make an effort to express our love for people in our life, which seems slightly depressing if that's the case, here is the sequence of priorities I have heard and found that actually works:  God, you, your spouse (if you've got one), if not, then would come family. Quite frankly I could stop there.

However, after you've prioritized 1, 2 and then 3, is when you move onto whatever else is in your life... 4: kids/happy family life, extended family, friends, your job, house, lawn, whatever it is.  If you don't have let's say the 1, 2, 3 down, how do you expect to have the 4th?  It just plain and simple won't work well the other way around. It rarely does.

Why do we work harder at our jobs then our relationship with ourselves? Our significant other/spouse? How did that happen and why do we keep doing that?

It feels like an untruth to say that putting yourself above others is selfish.  I am not talking about rude, selfish behavior. I am talking about taking the time for you. What brings you joy? What brings a smile to your lips? Do you like you? If you don't know these things, it's time to find out don't you think? It might be time to take care of yourself so you can be more of the loving, relaxed, open, SMILING, joyful person you are.  Because you are all that!

On this love day, let me be one of the people that let's you know: YOU ARE IMPORTANT. YOU MATTER. Take some time and write down your priorities and find out where you stand. How is your life ordered? Try to rearrange them and see what happens.  Let the pressure out of this cooker and take care of you!

I've heard and found out from others that a great place to start in taking care of themselves is with their bodies, because what follows is a happier self. A happier body, mind, spirit!  If you'd like a little self-care you can find this to be a great place to start: GET YOUR GOOD JUJU and MOJOLICIOUSNESS ON!

Walking in Love,

Ephesians 5:29 ESV

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,

Monday, February 2, 2015

Kill the Critic!

We all do it. Yep, even the men folk. They are just as, if not more so at times, self-critical than women.  What are you s a y i n g in your brain to yourself?

If there's one thing that you just can't get away from is that "other" part of you - the one that isn't self-confident, amazing and gorgeous.  She (or he) has to go!

Most people hire a personal trainer when they are not feeling so great. That inner critic is a bully and they've taken over space in their head and have been there for a bit.  I've worked with people who say really ugly words out loud about themselves. It seems to flow so smoothly out of their mouths that I think whoa... Sometimes it's spoken in a self-deprecating way, you know, with a little backward bend at humor. Sometimes it's "I hate this, or I hate that."  Inside I cringe. Out loud, I try to lovingly steer them in a healthier mental/verbal direction. First off, I let them know - we don't use the word "hate" here. Ever.  It's a dark word to me.

Usually I let them know in my kindest "cow girl" voice- "Darlin', we don't say those types of things in this here room."   "We are gonna kick that critic to the curb. Send her packin. She's not welcome here no more." "So honey, get yourself ready."

Then we begin day by day, hour by hour, to turn that stinkin thinkin around. Yep, it is a habit, and honey - I like to break bad habits and show them who's BOSS!  *** TAKE THAT!!! ***

It's a process and takes some time. I like to think I'm a relatively compassionate person so I tend to ease folks into a kinder, gentler, more loving way to speak to themselves. For instance: I can, I will, I am DOING THIS, or I  R. O. C. K. in the U. S. A. baby!

There is such a plethora of avenues a person can take to gain some inner self esteem and self confidence that I just cannot list them all!

So, my friend, the first step is become Aware of you and what  you are saying to you. Second, learn to stop yourself mid-disrespect! STOP. Just say it out loud if you have to. S.T.O.P.  Then, get grateful, get thankful. You are alive and breathing and you are HERE!

It sounds silly, but stand up, slap a smile on your mug and say I LOVE ME! Kinda toss your hair while you say it.  (You just did it didn't you!)  Good job!  Those are just starters and while simple, you will notice how your energy changed.  Did you feel a shift?

Bottom line is - if it's a habit, it can be changed!

Or you can check this out:    Here's How You Tell That Critic To GO!

It's kind of awesome to see someone change their attitude about their body and stop saying all those wicked mean things in their brain. It's a cool process I get to witness and I love it.

If you are interested in some other ways, deeper and more meaningful ways to let go of some of the head trash feel free to write me an email. You can get that from my website HERE

Remember, you are not one in a million. YOU, my dear, are the only one of YOU.